


if you’d look at me (with those cold eyes)

by hanktalkin



Series: UN PL UG GE D [4]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Empathy, F/F, Lack Of Respect, Omnic Racism, One-Sided Attraction, Other, Trouble In Paradise, Zarya Puts Her Foot in Her Mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 02:38:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15596382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanktalkin/pseuds/hanktalkin
Summary: Things go well. Until they don’t.





	if you’d look at me (with those cold eyes)

The change, Lynx would later think, started with a story.

“And then, the barrier drops, right when he fires rocket.”  Zarya curled both her hands into a ball, then threw them outward, accompanying the motion with a verbal _WOOSH_. “Right in his face! Ah, you should have seen it omnic, he went flying like little cartoon.”

Lynx tried to control themself, but between the overdramatic hand gestures and the expression on Zarya’s face, they couldn’t help the thrumming laugh that managed to squeak out. “You…are a _terrible_ influence on me Zaryanova,” they said in-between snorts. “We should not be so flippant about our fellow agents unfortunate,” (hilarious), “accident.”

“Pah,” Zarya waved her hand, leaning against one of the lab’s various tool tables. “Soldier 76 will be fine. Mercy says he will be out of ward within week.”

“That woman certainly is a miracle worker,” Lynx nodded, tapping a screwdriver in their hand—a forgotten remnant of their work before Zarya had interrrupted them. “Though I doubt you would be particularly heartbroken if 76 didn’t return for some while.”

Zarya’s jovial expression darkened, back into its usual glower. “No. I would not.”

“What _is_ your problem with our vigilante friend?” Lynx asked, giving up on their project leaning against the table. “It’s telling that the only time you’ll talk about him is when he’s shot his own foot. So to speak.”

“ _I_ am not one with problem,” she huffed. “ _He_ has problem with me. Soldier thinks I am still working for Volskaya, or at least have sympathies. It is annoying to be mistrusted for something I am no longer part of.”

“Hmmm.” Lynx cocked a solitary ear at her. “So he holds you accountable for a group you belong to, instead of judging you on your own merits. How _horrible_ for you.”

Zarya’s mouth hung open, but only briefly as a flurry of indignation took its place.

“I am not-” she sputtered. “Omnics have been- It’s _not the same_ -” But still, despite years of resentment beat into her, Zarya couldn’t deny it forever. Her shoulders sagged. “I… _fine_. I see your point, omnic.”

“Lynx,” Lynx corrected her for the first time. “If we are going to work on this whole _respecting each other_ thing, it’s best to not refer to each other as our species.”

“ _Species_ ,” Zarya scoffed, but then caught the look Lynx was giving her. She put her hands up. “All right om- Lynx. I will try things your way.”

“If moderate decency is _my way_ , then I’m honored to take the mantel.”

Zarya looked like she wanted to officiate this with a handshake again, but Lynx wisely didn’t give her an opening. If she had her way, they’d sign an armistice agreement every time they did a mission together. Instead, they handed her a flashlight.

“Here. As long as you’re feeling charitable, you might as well help me recalibrate our local operating system.” They picked up their tools again, prying off a microchip from its board.

Zarya sighed, but held it up anyway. “The things I do for a bit of sanity.”

* * *

It could be said that things went well after that. Their rapport had come a long way from Numbani, back when Zarya crashed in Lynx’s apartment and ate more stacks of dumplings than Lynx knew existed. (Seriously, before that point Lynx had no idea how much food humans consumed in a single week, and months later still wasn’t sure if that was _all_ humans or just Zarya’s impressive aptitude for devouring.) Now, barely stomached tolerance had morphed into actual fondness.

The mysterious secret that had brought Zarya to Lynx, whatever it was, must have faded in her mind since arriving at Overwatch, as she no longer pestered Lynx for advice. Now that they were here in the heart of her best shot, it was a waiting game, seeing how long Zarya would take before deciding to let someone help her. In the meantime, she adopted Overwatch’s goals as enthusiastically as if they were her own: applying herself to order and justice and all that. Lynx supposed they shouldn’t be surprised. She was once military after all, taking orders from the top as the word of god. Old habits die hard.

Now she had followed Tsai’s (painfully extracted) information across the planet once again, leaving Lynx in charge of logistics and the giant communications system in their lab. After three false starts that lead to empty warehouses, her team had finally located the supplier, smashing the unprepared operation into the ground. Lynx zoomed in a camera, catching Zarya’s face as it glowed with victory.

“Well done strike team,” Lynx said, picking up Athena’s favorite phrase. “No further heat signatures detected in your location. All threats neutralized.”

“Thank you, Lynx,” Zarya nodded, her lips moving in time with the radio feed. “The suggestion about the Koi pond proved very useful.”

“Stop it Zaryanova,” Lynx said. “If you’re not careful, people will get the impression you like having me along.”

“What travesty that would be,” she replied, though Lynx could see her smile through their monitor. Strangely enough, McCree also smiled, though Lynx couldn’t imagine why.

“Athena will ready your return transport,” Lynx informed the team dutifully. “I’ll see you all then.”

“Be seeing you, Lynx Seventeen,” Zarya said, right before the communications cut out. The goodbye was oddly uplifting, and Lynx slid away from their console with a spring in their step.

Now that work was done they could get back to…more work. There was always something to do in an illegal peacekeeping operation: communications to manage, backdoors to check, security to enforce. One of Lynx’s favorite pastimes was trying to break into Overwatch’s systems, just to see what damage a particularly good hacker with limited resources could get up to; it was the programming equivalent of playing chess with yourself. But they’d just had a go at that yesterday, and doubted it’d actually prove to be challenging right now.

Instead, Lynx browsed through alerts from their watchdogs, seeing if there were any new threats out there in the world that they’d need to prepare Overwatch for. Often, they wondered what Overwatch would do without them. The reformed organization was not short on brilliant minds, but most of the scientific team had skills that could be charitably described as “hardware.” Torbjörn’s designs were the founding principals of modern omnic construction, yet watching the man try to operate a holo-vid was like seeing a bird attack its own reflection.

 _No, no, unimportant_ …The watchdogs were bringing back nothing good except…

Lynx’s ears stood straight up. Could that be…no, they couldn’t have stumbled upon her after all these months…

But as Lynx picked through the report, their initial suspicious couldn’t be denied. It was her, _Sombra_ , back at it again when one of her exploits just so happened to fall into Lynx’s lap. She’d wholly dropped off the map after Lynx had met her in person for the first time, too careful to let herself be discovered again, but apparently that woman could only resist the temptation for so long. Sooner or later she had to get back to work. And judging by the reports from the national bank of Nigeria, it was broaching on the sooner.

It would only take a little digging, a few scans to find the money trail…

Lynx’s finger hung over the _open_ button. It would be so easy to get back into old habits… but their promise to Winston hung heavy in the back of their mind. They’d vowed not to hack (or at least not to hack anything that wasn’t their own systems) in order to keep notoriety away from the fledgling organization, and they couldn’t think of anything more dangerous than the attention of the once Olivia Colomar.

But still, wasn’t it better to find and put a stop to her before she became too bold? If anything, they were preemptively preparing Overwatch for her next assault, which counted as “defensive hacking” right? The arguments spun around in Lynx’s mind until-

“Ah, Lynx. Can I have a moment of your time?”

With a snap, Lynx looked up to see Mei standing in the bay doors, a small wave accompanying her presence. Their ears pressed flat against their skull, a pointless attempt to suppress their misdeeds unless Mei happened to be a mind reader. Lynx tucked their tablet away ~~guiltily~~ quickly, and rose to meet her.

“Of course, the solar panels,” they recalled. “I’m sorry, they completely slipped my mind. Though to be honest, I didn’t expect you back so soon.”

Mei’s shy smile flicked to one of surprise as they bustled past, stopping only when they reached the mass of wires that had accumulated on Mei’s commission. Sure it’d only been here since yesterday, but what could Lynx say? They were a busy omnic.

“I can’t say I’ve made much progress,” Lynx said as they picked the panels clean. “But I can show you the few adjustments I’ve made if you’re interested.”

“Oh I…oh.” When Lynx turned their head, Mei was blushing for some reason. “Sorry, I wasn’t talking about those at all, actually. I was just here on a social call.”

“…Ah. I’m sorry to have assumed.” Lynx put the wires back where they found them and faced her. “I’d be happy to chat, if that is what you’d like.”

Often Winston would join them while they were working, since this used to be his lab before moving closer to Torbjörn’s facilities. He was good company, if a bit socially reserved at times. But Mei was a rarity, a newcomer, and Lynx kept that in mind as they pretended to go back to work.

“How have you been, Dr. Zhou?” they said, picking up their tablet and randomly tapping buttons. They hoped it was convincing.

“I have been well. We had a good mission recently, despite Soldier 76’s accident.” Mei looked around, as though trying to find somewhere to sit. The silence stretched on between them, and Lynx struggled to find something that would fill the lapse in the conversation. Thankfully, Mei came to the rescue. “Lynx, can I ask you a personal question?”

They set down their tablet again in surprise. “I…suppose? Why wouldn’t you be able to?”

“I…” Mei flushed darker. “I don’t know. It is not a big deal, just something that’s been on my mind and…well…I guess I should just ask. Do you know if Aleksandra is seeing anyone?”

“…Zaryanova? _Seeing_ anyone?” Whatever Lynx thought Mei would ask, it certainly wasn’t that. “…Not to my knowledge, no.”

It wasn’t clear if that was the answer Mei was looking for, since she just continued to wring her hands. The thought was just so outlandish: _Zaryanova_ and _Dating_ were not two concepts that so much as glanced at each other.

“Ah,” Mei mumbled. “I see. Thank you Lynx.”

“I must know though,” they probed, “why ask me?”

Mei adjusted her glasses with one hand, finally making a bit of eye contact. “Well I thought you would be the one to know, if anyone. You two are so close, after all.”

Were they? Certainly Zarya had other friends on the base like Mei and…

……Hmm. That was odd, Lynx honestly couldn’t think of anyone Zarya talked to as much as she did with them. They shook their head. “Dr. Zhou, are you… _interested_ in Zaryanova?”

“I…might be.” As though the ever increasing blush in her face didn’t give it away.

And for some absurd reason, the confession overpowered Lynx’s thought process. So many things were weird at the moment, because now they not only had to formulate the idea of a romantic Zarya, but a romantic Zarya in relation to _Mei_. The thought seemed… _off_ somehow, like Zarya was cheating on a significant other that Lynx had just admitted didn’t exist. They found themself irritated that Mei had presented this trove of oddness before them.

“If I could ask you another question,” Mei said linking her ungloved hands together. “Do you think she might be interested in me?”

It was moments like this that Lynx was incredibly glad humans couldn’t read omnic facial expressions. If any other omnic were in the room, they would know that Lynx was doing the equivalent of dropping their jaw to the floor.

“If she talks about me at all or anything,” Mei prattled on, not knowing what to make of Lynx’s silence. “Just something to give me a clue?”

Lynx tried to snap themself out of their shock. After all, it wasn’t _that_ surprising that Zarya and Mei would fall in with one another, right? They were always out on missions together, two battle-savvy women that could watch each other’s backs in ways Lynx never could. And Mei was so sweet; Zarya would be a fool not to enjoy her company.

“I don’t know for sure…” Lynx found themself saying.

In fact, the _real_ crime was why they weren’t together already. Yes that was it! That was why this whole train of thought was so unbearably uncomfortable.

They approached Mei suddenly, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I do not know if Zarya returns your feeling yet Dr. Zhou, but I do believe that you two would make a fantastic couple.”

Mei blinked, obviously thrown off by Lynx’s sudden enthusiasm. “You do?”

“Yes.” And Lynx said it with such conviction that they believed it themself. “I think you should tell her how you feel. If she has any sense, she will definitely consider your proposal.”

Things went from zero to sixty real quick, but Lynx’s words sunk in and Mei grinned with relief. “You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that. And I-I will! Tell her that is.”

The smile Mei shot them made their internal sensors warm, glad that they’d gotten their head out of the clouds and actually helped their friend. This was better. They’d gotten their inner thoughts back on track.

So then why did they still feel so terrible?

* * *

The triumphant return of the latest strike team was met with a party.

There were _hors d'oeuvre_ , decorations, plenty of booze for the humans, and even some organic oil for Lynx. The oil was actually from Zenyatta’s stash, harder and more potant than anything Lynx was used to—who knew the innocuous little monk could actually down the stuff like an indisposed rock star? He and Genji were nowhere to be found at the moment, leave the supplies all to Lynx as they sat in their wonderfully comfortable beanbag chair.

The drink and the chair made them about ready to sink right out of existence. The party thrummed along around them, easy conversation flitting in the circle of other beanbags, and turning out surprisingly pleasant. It was a bit more low key than Lynx would have expected from a post-mission shindig, what with the military officialness of the old Overwatch stripped away, but apparently once that was gone the only thing left were people that converted old armories into swanky lounges.

“To one less problem,” Zarya said, raising a glass that probably had a higher proof than the rest of the circle combined.

“To one less problem!” Pharah agreed before anyone else could chime in. Despite being only an hour into the party, the captain had already become so drunk that she’d gone up and preformed some impromptu karaoke. Despite the presence of an actual mike. Or music.

As the rest of the team toasted, Zarya smiled over her glass at Pharah. Lynx could read the thought _lightweight_ on her face as clear as day.

Mei was only treating herself to some sparking water, and still looked rather pink. “I watched the tapes from the mission Zarya,” she said hastily, as though afraid she’d lose her chance to get a word in. “That gravitational wormhole was very impressive.”

Lynx suppressed a chuckle as they watched Zarya puff up, always a sucker for flattery. “Ah, that was nothing. You should see me when I have a half-dozen laser shooting down at me, then I charge my Graviton Surge faster than you say _ty mertvaya zhalkaya veshch'_.”

“Maybe not before I could, but probably before I would,” Lynx said.

Pharah laughed a little too loudly, and Zarya smirked slightly (even if it was accompanied by an eye roll.)

“Life on the front does not sound like it was to pleasant for you, Zarya,” Mei said suddenly, _awkwardly_. “Do you have anyone back home?”

Oh no, she wasn’t bringing that up _now_ , was she? Lynx looked between Mei and Zarya, feeling that if Mei’s awkward stumbling block of a segue was any indication, this conversation would not be going well.

“Hmm,” Zarya said, no indication that the question had offended. “Friends? None close. Comrades yes, those I would love to see by my side here if Russia did not need them and I was not…”

There it was. All it took was a little reminder for the beginnings of a frown to form on Zarya’s face.

Mei seemed to realize her mistake. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up. I was um…trying to ask if you were _with_ anyone…”

Lynx considered asking Mei if she wanted a shovel.

Zarya’s forehead crinkled with discomfort. Thankfully Pharah, bless her, was acutely unaware of the mood in the room, piped up, “not unless fucking robots counts!”

The tension broke in Zarya’s shoulders with a snort. “Yes, I suppose I did ‘fuck up’ plenty of omnics, as some of you would say.”

Pharah took a swig. “You know-” She hiccupped. “You know, back in Egypt I actually had a guy on my squad who was dating an omnic.”

“Really?” Zarya mused. “Certainly a sex toy would be cheaper at that point, don’t you think?”

She and Pharah laughed uproariously.

Lynx’s hand tightened around their bottle.

Mei looked between Zarya and Lynx, mortification collecting on her face ever since the words fucking robots entered the conversation. “Aleksandra you can’t just _say_ that.”

“Why not?” Zarya blinked with genuine confusion.

“Because-”

“No Dr. Zhou,” Lynx said slowly. “I’d like to hear what Zaryanova has to say on the subject.”

Zarya glanced between Mei and Lynx like they’d started speaking an entirely different language. “On _what_ subject?”

Lynx’s felt pins all over their body. “On _omnics_ , Zaryanova. What exactly do think is involved in a relationship between an omnic and a human?”

“Er…” Zarya looked over at Pharah, who was now blissfully distracted by the slowly spinning ceiling fan. “Something lewd, then? I do not understand, you wish me to describe it?”

“Is that all? You only imagine such a thing where an omnic is there for a humans sexual gratification?”

There was a test there. Zarya knew it, but as that dawned on her she also realized she had no clue as to the correct answer. “What…else would it be for?”

Lynx rose.

Throughout the whole ordeal Mei’s hands had slowly been rising, eventually coming to clamp over her face. As though she could stop the words coming out of Zarya’s mouth by covering her own. Now she was in Lynx’s position: watching a train wreck unfold and being powerless to stop it.

Lynx turn and left.

They could hear Mei calling after them—Zarya made no noise, too stunned by their exit to stop them as they stalked from the suffocating party. They didn’t think about what the rest of the team’s reaction would be, didn’t think about how they were interpreted.

The only thing they cared about was the anger that threatened to shake loose every bolt in their body until they were nothing left but scraps.

**Author's Note:**

> old timey guy with a mustache voice: it’s a metaphor see
> 
> told you this series wasn’t abandoned


End file.
